Reasons to Eat Meat

(Our response to World Vegetarian Day)

1. If cows didn't want to be eaten, they would have evolved more elaborate defense mechanisms
2. Because spinich is obviously trying to kill us
3. Arugula has rights too
4. Ostriches are a mistake of creation that we should help God correct
5. Mad-cow induced psychosis is a great alternative to expensive LSD
6. Heart disease is underrated
7. Goats are sly, crafty creatures--if we don't eat them, they might eat us
8. Zero Carbs! OMG!