Reasons to Eat Meat

(Our response to World Vegetarian Day)

1. If cows didn't want to be eaten, they would have evolved more elaborate defense mechanisms
2. Because spinich is obviously trying to kill us
3. Arugula has rights too
4. Ostriches are a mistake of creation that we should help God correct
5. Mad-cow induced psychosis is a great alternative to expensive LSD
6. Heart disease is underrated
7. Goats are sly, crafty creatures--if we don't eat them, they might eat us
8. Zero Carbs! OMG!

Heat of the Moment

A member of our crew recently ran for student government. Check out his speech:

Civil Obedience

Suck on this, Thoreau!



(Contains a few naughty words, be warned!)

Virtual Earth

Wonton Way is pleased to announce that we're adding support for Virtual Earth to some of our content pages. Once the service is up and running, you'll be able to explore every aspect of the exciting places where Wonton Way performs its experiments, right down to the last tree, shrub, and "No Tresspassing" sign! Check out the Peacebuster Field Test to see the system in action.

Funny Cats

This is--without a doubt--one of the best things ever:

Remote Control Reindeer

Today, we at the Wonton Way created something revolutionary, and we need your help testing it out. During a period of profound boredom, we managed to connect a light-up reindeer to our server.

The reindeer is sitting in our attic, and there is a camera trained on it. You'll be able to watch it, and by pressing buttons, you'll be able to light it up and control a small motor which makes its head move up and down. All this from the comfort of your own home. Yes folks, web interactivity has just reached a new high point!

Click Here to Control the Reindeer Now!


When the page loads, you should see a view of the reindeer. To take control, click on the button labeled "Control the Room." If you have a popup blocker, make sure to turn it off. A window will popup with on and off buttons. Click them to control the reindeer.

If all goes well with this experiment, we'll expand the system, giving anonymous strangers even more control over our surroundings! So click the link, and comment on this post to let us know how things go.

Edit: The server went down for a while, but we've got it working now. If you get "This page cannot be displayed" before, try again

Wonton Way Visits the Autoshow

Every year, the Wonton Way's home city hosts an event where a multitude of car manufacturers lug massively expensive displays into the convention center, plaster those displays with focus-grouped slogans, and begin handing out glossy brochures with pictures of their cars climbing the Himilayas, fording streams, and cruising along unnaturally curvy roads in Southern California. They ship these brochures by the truckload, and force them on every unsuspecting soul who happens by; if you ranked major threats to our nation's forests, the Philadelphia Autoshow would definately be in the top 5.

This weekend, we at the Wonton Way attended the show. Arming ourselves with flimsy plastic bags issued by Chevrolet, we managed to gather, trick-or-treat style, more than 10 pounds of glossy pamphlets!




Although this is a formidable accomplishment in and of itself, we didn't stop there. We also performed several imporant experiments and came up with some exciting ways to amuse ourselves. Here's a few photos from Wonton Way's day at the Autoshow:


We ponder the plaguing question: "How difficult would it really be to make off with a floormat?"

We discover, with much dismay, that someone had the audacity to steal Wonton Way's color.

A member of the Wonton Way crew tests the head-crushing potential of the H2.

We test the hypothesis that Hummers are heavy

Although we spent a good deal of time taking pictures of ourselves, we at the Wonton Way also thought about you, our readers. Here's a list of fun things to try if the Autoshow ever comes to your town:

1. Stand on the rear bumper of a large SUV, and frantically jump up and down. When questioned, explain that you are "testing the bounce"
2. Examine the grill of a large American car, and discuss in a loud voice how effectively it would dispatch hippies
3. Get on the floor and crawl underneath a Ford pickup truck. You'll fit.
4. Put a manual car into neutral and see how far you can push it before you're asked to leave the premises
5. Find a car with the hood open, point at random parts of the engine, and make manly comments implying that you have some clue what you're looking at: "There's the (sprocket, alternator, drive train, wheel wells, ejector-seat mechanism)"
6. Use the headlights to flash Morse-code message to passers by

After wandering around the show for 5 hours, and consuming several $4 smoothies made from nonexistant fruits (i.e. the Bananaberry), we at the Wonton Way headed home. However, we will be back next year; there will be new cars to be bounce-tested, there will be new adventures to be had, and after all, with winters as cold as they've been, one can never have too much glossy kindling.