Student Government Speeches

Traditionally, student government speeches have been little more than an opportunity for the uninteresting and the unpopular to take the stage and, stoically ignoring the boos, heckles, and threats of their peers, ramble unintelligebly for 20 minutes about qualifications and fiscal responsibility. Well, we at the Wonton Way have never been big fans of either qualifications or fiscal responsibility, so it's not suprising that when we fielded student government candidates, their speeches took a slighly different approach...

"Heat of the Moment" Speech

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"Ninja Attack Squad" Speech